It's now about ten minutes into Shabbat as I type this and once again, the Jewish blogging world goes quiet until Saturday night and services, prayers, candles are on the minds of many. I am at work keeping my word to work the schedule I agreed to before I set on converting.
It's not easy being here. Since setting on this path, I've started learning Hebrew, wearing a kippah, reading a translated Torah, eating kosher whenever I can, reading of Jewish and Israeli history and paying attention to the news, hustle, and flow of modern Jewish and Israeli life. There's no bar to any of the things I need to do. I can pray English or Hebrew any time of the day. I can speak with G-d whenever. Shabbat is the lone observance I cannot reliably make yet.
Nevertheless I try. I light my battery-operated light, I pray, I try to stay up and not get depressed.
Someday I will get the schedule I want. Someday.