E-Kvetcher comes through again...

Search for Emes: Ecce Homo

Read this article he's thrown together from a few books and Wikipedia on Barabbas and Jesus. If ever the name Barabbas bothered you and you were wondering what was going on there, well, this might make light bulbs go off in your head.

A really good article at BreslovWorld.com

Excerpt of note...

Hashem wants to lavish His magnificent illumination on each of us, as a loving father desires to give to his beloved child. Yet, our misdeeds cause concealment. When a person falls into the darkness of concealment, Hashem is deeply sorry and prays for that person. The Gemara in tractate Berachot, page 7a, teaches us that Hashem Himself prays, for Hashem says: "'I shall bring them to My holy mountain and I shall gladden them in My house of prayer' My house of prayer not their house of prayer, to teach that Hashem prays. And what does Hashem pray? Mar Zutra bar Tuvia says in the name of Rav: May it be My will that My mercy overcomes My wrath, and may mercy permeate all of My traits, and may I act with My children with the measure of mercy, and may I judge them with lenience.

BreslovWorld.com - Spiritual Growth: No Reason for Despair

Now aside from the usual skeptic criticism that this ignores basic and well known biochemistry regarding moods, this article does have one really notable thing which in all my studies has not been brought up by anyone else... G-d is said in the Talmud to have feelings and pray. Just like me.

Believe me, no one in all of Christendom that I've ever read has ever broached this. I have, but then I'm considered a chinstrap on a yarmulke. Functional in some way in certain exigent circumstances but generally odd and unsettling.

THANK YOU BRESLOVWORLD, THANK YOU RABBIS ARUSH AND BRODY. A THOUSAND TIMES THANK YOU.

A word from G-d...

"You're not supposed to be perfect so stop hating yourself when you fall short of some goal that for all you know, I never had any design on you for."

This idea keeps flitting through my conscience when I am hard on myself. I feel His hand on my shoulder and I want to cry. I want a hug. I know that's human emotionality, but it is what it is. I wonder if I'm going to get to ask Him what it means or if He's right and why and in what context. He tells me, but my doubt gets in the way of holding the belief. Yet still I tread on, numb, and headed where he sends me.

I tried to walk away before, and was tortured near to insanity by the reminders He'd leave in my path. All of it boils down to that simple statement from Buckaroo Banzai... "Wherever you go, there you are."

He made me, and in His image. I can no more run from Him than I can escape myself. I know he doesn't expect perfection but I want so much to make Him proud somehow. Just one redeeming thing before I go. I fear I'll never get to do it. He says not to worry, but why do I want so much to prove myself? If I am in His image, does He want to prove something to someone, and if so, to who? Where does G-d hang His head when he wants to cry or needs a hug?

Maybe there's a reason I feel so alone. Maybe in that... I'm not.